Earlier I was chatting with a buddy of mine who recently switched jobs (again). He has some considerable experience in job searches and switching employment so I’d consider him an authority on this topic. He was wondering why it never fails that as soon as he finds a new job, a slew of offers come pouring in almost immediately.
This is very similar to that phenomenon when you attract someone of the opposite sex to start a relationship–as soon as the other person enters your life on a more consistent basis, it seems as though there are opportunities coming out of the woodwork. The opportunities were always there, you just hadn’t tuned into them. You weren’t as aware when you were looking eagerly because you weren’t allowing things to happen, and you were tuned into the wrong signals in addition to sending out the wrong vibes. You were pressing.
A job search is very similar to attracting a mate–the harder you press, the less likely you’ll achieve your goals. Furthermore, selling is very similar to attracting a mate–the harder you press, the less likely the other person is to react the desired way. Once you allow them to make a decision on their terms, the better the odds of success. People don’t make decisions when WE want them to–they make decisions when THEY want to based on what makes them most comfortable. Remember that the next time you go on a sales call, job search, or seek another mate.
It’s not about you; it’s all about them.